51 things Moyashi Allen is not allowed to do
by nolongeractivesorry
Summary: Kanda can't go on. That damn Moyashi is just so annoying sometimes! But when he makes a long list of things his biggest rival isn't allowed to do, what will happen if Allen reads it?


I'm actually not dead! I just temporarily forgot about my fanfiction account... Heh, sorry about that. Anyhow, I know you guys enjoyed 51 things Lavi and Kanda aren't allowed to do, so my beloved Allen-chan deserves one too, neh? :D

Enjoy~!

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><p>51 things Moyashi (Allen) is not allowed to do<p>

Kanda's POV

1. Moyashi is not allowed to call me Ba-Kanda

2. Moyashi is not allowed to argue with me

3. Moyashi is not allowed to mess with my ponytail

4. Moyashi is not allowed to take my sword

5. Moyashi is not allowed to call me a woman

6. Because I'm more manly than he'll EVER be…

7. Moyashi is not allowed to put make up on me

8. Or a dress

9. Or anything remotely feminine

10. And if he dares to try again, I swear he will feel the wrath of Mugen.

11. Moyashi is not allowed to play strip poker

12. Especially with Lavi

13. Because I've already been scarred for life enough, thank you very much

14. Moyashi is not allowed to sneak into my room

15. Or question me about why I have a pink flower in there

16. Because it's _none of his damn business. _

17. Moyashi is not allowed to sing "I feel like a woman" whenever I'm around.

18. Please refer to number 6 as to why I will not tolerate being called the opposite gender.

19. Moyashi is not allowed to make fun of my lack of education.

20. Because, really, who the hell needs to know how to write algebraic expressions?

21. Moyashi is not allowed to buy a computer.

22. And get on fanfiction.

23. And read one of the millions of stories yaoi fan girls have written about us.

24. …And to all of you yaoi fans that wrote about me, **_fear for your lives_**….

25. Moyashi is not allowed to get Timcanpy to stalk me just to annoy me.

26. Moyashi is not allowed to dye my Exorcist uniform bright pink

27. Moyashi is not allowed to steal my soba, tempura, or green tea.

28. Honestly, he can just ask Jeryy to make him some. -_-"

29. Moyashi is not allowed to skip through the halls singing Christmas carols in December.

30. Because anything high-spirited, merry, happy etc. makes me irritated

31. Moyashi is not allowed to plot evil pranks with Lavi

32. Because I am usually the recipient of these pranks.

33. …Never before have I feared those idiots so much.

34. Moyashi is not allowed to challenge me to gamble with him.

35. I'm now in as much debt as General Cross.

36. Moyashi is not allowed to cough on me when he has a cold.

37. Because although I am a synthetic Exorcist, I am not immune to the flu =_=

38. Moyashi is not allowed to redecorate my room.

39. Because when I saw the lace and frills, I passed out.

40. Moyashi is not allowed to draw me as a chibi.

41. Because those eyes are NOT PROPORTIONAL…

42. Moyashi is not allowed to gloat about AreKan, where he's seme.

43. Yullen is more popular anyways. And like hell I'd ever let him do all that perverted shit to me.

44. Moyashi is not allowed to mock me in foreign languages I don't know.

45. Moyashi is not allowed to complain about being called Moyashi

46. Because everyone agrees it suits him

47. Moyashi is not allowed to brag that he's more popular than I am.

48. Because who would choose a white-haired narcissist over ME?

49. Moyashi is not allowed to tell Komui that I killed Lenalee. (Because I obviously didn't.)

50. Although that Komurin _did_ deserve to die.

"Oh, I've reached 50 already," I muttered to myself.

"Huh?" Lenalee glanced over at me. I blinked and then remembered I was not alone in the hospital wing.

"Nothing," I replied curtly. She looked at me curiously. Lavi, hearing our short conversation, looked over at us.

"Hey, what'cha writing, Yuu-chan?" the Usagi asked cheerfully.

"Don't call me that, Baka-Usagi. And I said it was nothing," I snarled. The Moyashi now looked up from his book.

"Kanda's writing something? I didn't know he could," Moyashi said with a smirk. I clenched my teeth.

"I didn't know ALGEBRA, dammit! I know how to WRITE," I snapped. The Moyashi grinned.

"I want to see," Lenalee said suddenly and rose from the chair next to Moyashi's bed. In a flash she had snatched the list form my hand and was skimming over it.

"Lenalee-!" I yelled in protest. Her eyes widened as she realized what was on the paper. Her hand went to her mouth to stifle her snickers, but couldn't oppress her laughter. She started giggling hysterically.

"Why would you write something like this, Kanda? It's like a list version of an angry letter!" Lenalee chuckled.

"Huh?"

"What?"

Moyashi and Usagi stared at us, perplexed. Usagi scrambled to his feet and Moyashi got out of bed and they crowded around Lenalee to see what the list was. As soon as Usagi glanced at it, he broke out in fits of laughter. I facepalmed myself as Moyashi grabbed the list and started reading it. Fury ignited in his eyes.

"Kanda, you…." Moyashi growled then launched himself at me. I rolled sideways to avoid him. However, our small skirmish escalated into a full-blown fistfight. As I was throwing punches, kicking, and snarling, I heard Usagi and Lenalee chuckling at us.

"Do you think we should stop them?" Usagi snickered.

"Nah, the head nurse will find them eventually," Lenalee replied with a giggle. There was a brief pause.

"Hey, do you think Yuu-chan would mind if I edited his list?" Usagi asked slyly.

I let out a particularly ferocious snarl when Lenalee replied with, "Of course he wouldn't mind!"

I heard the scratch of a pen on paper before the doors banged open and the harsh voice of the Head nurse met our ears as she pulled us apart.

An hour later, Moyashi and I had been moved to separate rooms and Usagi and Lenalee had left, snickering and sharing a secret look. I now realized my list had been neatly folded up and set on my table. Suspicious, I unfolded it and realized an extra number had been added.

51. Moyashi is not allowed to throw a hissy fit when he finds this list.

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><p>Reviews would make me happy :)<p>

And any story ideas, anyone? Writer's block is being mean to me D:

Thanks for reading~! :D


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